Search
  • christian baez

new light

He’s stern. He doesn’t hold me at night… Says his body temperature gets too warm at night to hold me, says our feet interlocking throughout the night should suffice. I’m not a feet person, but every time I rub mine against his, I still forget they’re not yours… They’re thinner, his feet. Not as pudgy as yours, nor as round… He holds me in between his chest and left arm, and gives me butterfly kisses as I lay there, eyes closed, smiling from how playful he’s learning I like to be. He likes to ask for backrubs, almost as often as you would ask if our nights in were enough for me… He’s delivering me from the shame and self-hatred our moments in bed cultivated inside me. He is assertive, he is loving, he is vibrant, he is curious, he is so present to the point that it makes me forget to think, to worry, to dreadfully prepare myself for the awkwardness that would follow after we did… He likes me, very much, he says. And I like him, quite enough that maybe I can be okay with holding a pillow at night as I fall asleep on the same side of the bed I would sleep when you and I were.

6 views

Recent Posts

See All

a safe place to land

Happy? Yes, I can sit here with pride and declare my renown happiness. The creek below me sings a soft song of approval. He's good to me. He calls me things I for once accept, appreciate, believe. He

the fools who dream

So anyway, I'm leaving. Leaving you. Leaving our special place. Leaving behind the years of disbelief you gave to me... you were the greatest act. You showed me a world away from reality. 27 years, yo

dancing on my own

I kept dancing to her, to a rhythm I grew up alongside with- a rhythm and lyrics my mother’s past only served to emphasize on the power of perseverance, of empowerment… But on and on I danced, entranc

Copyright © 2019 somewhere over. All Rights Reserved